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WELCOME TO MOTHER RUSSIA

Russian Border Guard: Speak Russian? Hew: No. Russian Guard: Oh Shit…. Russia is gonna be an experience. We stopped just after the border as we needed fuel and Tony needed a toilet stop. A long low rumble came from Tony’s direction. Whatever Tony ate last night, it was fighting its way back out. And was […]

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IT’S ALIIIIIIVE!!!

FrankenPanda has risen like a Phoenix from the Ashes. We had our doubts but this has been a bigger come back since Lazurus walked in and scared the crap out of his wife and the milkman! If this was a patient, the local Priest would be reading the Last Rights and two guys would be […]

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KAZAKHSTAN ROADS!! YOU SUCK!!

On the way to Ust’-something, we hit a mine field that had been incorrectly marked as a road on our map. We pulled up behind a Land Rover kitted out like Bear Grills Car Club had a fire sale. Tony had enough of the lack of progress and passed the 4×4 on some less than […]

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WELCOME TO HOTEL RALLYFORNIA

As the Eagles song goes… ‘You can check out any time you like, But you can never leave!’ The Rally Runs hit us hard and we were too scared to move more than 8 feet from the safety of our luxurious hotel toilet. This was a game of boxer shorts roulette! Never bet on brown! […]

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GUESS THE NATIONALITY OF THAT BODY HAIR

Our overnight hotel in Samarqand was a family run affair and obviously catered to different nationalities. This was confirmed by the varying colours, shapes and lengths of “body hair” still present on our “fresh linen”. What I thought was an ant with a back pack now looks very much like a flea… In return, we […]

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DANCING AT THE GATES OF HELL

If you are reading this I am dead or I have crossed over in to Valhalla. Saturday night was one if the most insane, intense, improptu and unbelievable things I have ever experienced. Generations of Rallyer children will hear of this and doubt it really happened… even I’m not sure it did. Named the Gateway […]

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PLEASE FIGHT YOUR WAY TO THE FRONT OF THE QUEUE

Turkey wasn’t that bad so why was everyone punching five shades of balclava out of each other to leave. The people in queue (I use term VERY looslely) were pushing like there was a sale on bums and they had two for one vouchers. After barely surviving Turkish passport control (the stitchers come out in […]

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FIVE COUNTRIES IN ONE DAY….

Like A Japanese tourist bus doing Golden Week we smashed through Europe yesterday. …. driving by, shooting quick pics out the car window like LA gang bangers…. Five countries in one day. Germany.Austria.Slovenia.Croatia.Serbia. Get here. I can now order a burger and a beer in nine different languages and pay in six different currencies! So […]

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!

And Mongol Mongrels are off!! Today is the day. Ten years in the dreaming. One year in the planning. Six months in the grovelling and a lifetime of memories to be made. Or the most short lived, over anticipated, anticlimactic moment since that time with Sharon Manisky at the back of the school disco! The […]

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With just a few days to go, we are finalising the little things.

Like our Mongolia visas!…a bit bloody hard to do a London to Mongolia Rally if you can’t actually get INTO Mongolia!!  Who wants to do “The London to Somewhere-close-by-but-not-quite-Mongolia-Rally” . We finally got the visa and our passports back so can drive a bit further now…theoretically speaking. As for the driving bit, we reviewed our tool kit and […]